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I’m in a bit of an awkward situation with my best friend. We’re single mums, working part-time, and look after each other’s kids when the other is working.

This has been a great arrangement until recently. In a nutshell, she’s started to get more work, which means I’m having her kids more than I was. We agreed at the start that we wouldn’t charge each other for the childminding, as it benefited both of us and it was evenly split.

However, the balance is off now – she’s earning more and I’m looking after her kids for nothing. I don’t want to come across as jealous or unreasonable but I’m not sure this is fair. And what if I want to take on more work?

She didn’t offer to pay me for the extra days, which I would have done. But probably what’s bothering me the most is that she didn’t really ask if it was OK – she just took it for granted that I’d have her children, even though it falls outside what we originally agreed.

The problem is, I don’t want to make too much of a fuss because she really helps me out on the days when I am working. What do I do?

Well, it does seem unfair and I think she’s pushing her luck a bit and taking advantage of your close friendship.

The way to approach it might be to suggest that it would be a good idea to come up with a plan for childcare going forward. You could also say you’d like the option of taking on more work too, which would mean you’d both need extra help for your kids, and you might even be able to share the cost of a childminder for days that fall outside your original agreement.

I think it would be fine if she was just asking for extra help on the odd day here and there, and it’s good to have a certain amount of flexibility, but this is a regular weekly thing.

If you don’t address it, you’ll become resentful and it’ll affect your friendship more than if you’d said right at the start: “I’m so happy you’ve got more work – well done. Who’s looking after the kids on those days? I might be able to help if you’re really stuck.”

This childcare arrangement needs to work for you both. Hopefully if you start a conversation, it’ll clear the air and you can figure it out. You’ve done a wonderful job of supporting each other until this point, so I think it would be a shame for you to fall out over it.